What kind of people are the hardest for you to work with?

I am so often amazed by what people will say during a job interview. Yesterday during an interview one of my staff asked the candidate what kind of people were the most difficult for her to work with. The response, "the unsaved - from a christian standpoint." (And bear in mind - she had absolutely no way of knowing the "saved" status of the staff who were conducting the interview.)

My staff were somewhat taken aback by this response - and I was quite frankly appalled. The organization I work for is not a christian organization - but we are a non-profit human service organization. Our job is to support, encourage, and expand the opportunities for people with a variety of disabilities - people who unfortunately are often seen by society as unlovely - as outcasts. Our staff are (for the most part) dedicated, loving, caring people - who work to bring about not only tolerance and acceptance but true inclusion for everyone. Our staff and clients come from many backgrounds and faiths. As a christian I often have the opportunity to show Christ's love and God's mercy to both staff and clients. I have many opportunities to counsel, encourage, and lead people to make better choices with regard to their way of life - physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. (And at times I have the opportunity to ask them for forgiveness when I've done something stupid.) I believe that my work in this field is a mission - a calling of God.
It is a field full of people - some are "saved" , some are "unsaved" (and it's not my job to decide which is which). My duty and my joy as a christian is to show and share Christ with all of them as I go about my daily work..

I'm so glad that Christ didn't find "the unsaved" (from a religious view) the hardest to work with. The lepers, the sick and lame, the possessed, the sinners, the lost - the "unsaved" are who he came for, the ones he chose to be with, the ones he loved. How sad that a believer has missed that point. If you find it hard to work with the "unsaved" - how small your world must be, and how small your love for those God's plan and Christ's gift was meant to save. If God's people find it hard to work with the "unsaved" - how will anyone else come to be saved?

It makes me want to cry for this woman.

No Tomorrows

No one is guaranteed "tomorrow." We all know that intellectually - but generally we: a) don't think about it and b) don't really believe it applies to people we know, and c) definitely don't believe it applies to us. But every now and then we get a wake-up call.

Mine came today when I got a phone call informing me that a consultant I worked with frequently and over a period of several years was found dead in his home this morning. I and my co-workers had a difficult time wrapping our minds around that fact. After all he had just been with us last Wednesday and he was scheduled to be at our site again in 2 days. The shock of his death in his sleep as a 40-something, apparently healthy man, was quite unexpected.

After a couple of hours I found my thoughts going off in a different direction. I suddenly realized that I did not know if he was a believer in Christ. In fact, despite frequent conversations over the last 2 or 3 years- I could not remember even one time when we discussed faith in Christ. If he was not a christian -I did nothing to bring him to Christ. I never considered that he might not have a tomorrow.

How many others have I failed to share Jesus' love and grace with? If I - as a believer - don't share my Lord - who will?

It's a dog's world

My mother left me a message this morning telling me that I was getting a new step-sister. This was quite a surprise since to my knowledge my parents weren't divorced - let alone remarried. I talked to them just the other day so I didn't think either of those things could have occured that quickly or without my knowledge.

So I quickly called home and asked Dad... which of you is getting remarried resulting in a step-sister. He laughed (BIG sigh of relief - just kidding mom and dad) and said mom was finally getting the puppy she's talked about forever. So instead of a step-sister I got a new doggy foster (adopted?) sister.
Evidently this has been in the works for a couple of days at least since mom and dad had already been shopping for "puppy things" - gates, toys, bedding, etc. The new pup is a Shitzu female - still to be named.

Good dog story!

Unfortunately MY dog has not been so good the last two days. Yesterday I came home from work to find a "gift" pile by the back door...which wouldn't have made me too upset since it was by the correct exit and maybe he just couldn't wait. Unfortunately after cleaning that mess up, I noticed that something still smelled. As I moved through the house I discovered "gifts" on every rug in the downstairs portion of the house (5 to be exact). I was NOT thrilled with my dog. I made him stay outside all evening and spent quite some time cleaning carpets.

At about 6:30 this morning I was awakened to my husband's LOUD complaint that "He did it again!" Yep, doggy - allowed to sleep in our room at night - had left us another present. Fortunately my husband "found" it before I woke up - since I would have stepped right in it upon getting out of bed. Day 2 and doggy is once again banished to the outside.

Now the big questions are:
Why did he do "it?" Will he do it again?

Meanwhile, there he stands on the deck at the backdoor - staring in at me, nose to the glass, and looking innocent of any wrong doing.

So why do I feel guilty?

myrtle beach - here i come!

I'm off to the beach tomorrow for the annual SCAAIDD conference. Hope everyonoe has a good week! Be back Friday.

birthday wishes

Sunday is Michelle's 23rd birthday! ;)
Unfortunately I won't get to spend any of it with her :(
Actually I haven't spent the last 3 birthdays (or is it 4?) with her either but I knew she was surrounded by a host of friends at Harding. (Yes, Michelle, I know you have friends in Amsterdam too.)
Anyway, for her birthday:

May she feel loved by family and friends (old and new).

May she have laughter to fill the day (Michelle: If you get them to play the game I sent in your birthday package - you're sure to have a few laughs - you may be laughing at your mother's silliness but hey, it's still laughing.)

May she feel God's presence and love surrounding her.

May she have one new experience to enjoy (We all know how much Michelle likes new adventures.)

complacent christianity

I bought a new CD last week (Casting Crowns -"The Altar and the Door") - and once again God has used music to get my attention.
I've been without Christ - with all the pain of sin, the guilt, the sorrow for my actions, the yearning to be clean again - yet I've really been struck by how complacent I often am in my christianity. I go to worship, teach the children, pray and move right along with the rest of my life. None of this really requires much sacrifice from me in the way of money, time, or talent. After all - I LOVE to sing, I enjoy working with children, I can fit prayer in during the little spaces of my day (driving, cooking, etc.) None of it requires any real risk.
So often I am without the passion of my faith. I want to be a christian but I don't want to be seen as too much of a christian. I don't want to be lost but I don't want to be radical either. The problem with that is - Jesus IS radical. God's plans are radical. He wants radical believers. He wants us to believe that he can and will do the impossible - and he'll do it with us.


The song "Somewhere in the Middle" has really stuck in my mind...the mental pictures I see as I listen to the words are so vivid.

So in case you haven't heard the song here it is:

"Somewhere between the hot and the cold. Somewhere between the new and the old. Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be. Somewhere in the middle you'll find me.

Somewhere between the wrong and the right. Somewhere between the darkness and the light. Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me. Somewhere in the middle you'll find me.

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense, deep water faith - in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle.

With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is, But will we trade our dreams for his? Are we caught in the middle?

Somewhere between my heart and my hands. Somewhere between my faith and my plans. Somewhere between the safety of the boat and crashing waves. Somewhere between a whisper and a roar. Somewhere between the altar and the door. Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more. Somewhere in the middle you'll find me.

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control. Lord, I feel You in this place and I know you're by my side. Loving me even on these nightswhen I'm caught in the middle."

who we are is not necessarily how others see us

After attending worship and the inaugural meeting of the empty nester's club (All Right! -Jim, that's for you.) Ron and I spent the rest of the day as volunteers parking cars for a polo game. I know nothing about polo but in exchange for volunteers to handle the parking the agency I work for will get paid / donation to go towards our building fund. (Since we are at licensed capacity in the county with a LOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG waiting list for services a new building is really needed. ) Anyway, here I am in shorts, t-shirt and a lovely orange vest directing people to the proper parking places. I shortly discovered that the way people addressed me - while friendly - was definitely not the way I am usually addressed. I was rather entertained by the number of times I was called Honey, Doll, Babe, etc. by people that in other circumstances would be calling me Mrs. Staggs, ma'am, etc. Their perception of who I was seemed to be very dependent on the role I was playing at the time. Don't get me wrong - no one was intentionally rude, people were pleasant/smiling/cooperative. It did make me think about how I see myself, how I see others and how they see me..I might need to be a little more careful about my assumptions about who people are in future interaction.

No news is good news?

No news is good news I've heard that line a thousand times - but I still can't decide if it's a truism or a lie. This week I am having a lot of opportunties to test it.
1. Earthquake in Peru - where oldest step-daughter, her husband, and 2 and 8/9's grandchildren live. No news for nearly 24 hours after the quake. Definitely did not feel like good news. Did get an email late the day after (phones were still down.) and everyone was ok.
2. Reviewers at work for a BIG audit / contract compliance review all week. I wasn't even asked any questions by them today. Maybe that's good - everything was clear and correct (I hope) or everything was so obviously out-of-compliance that they didn't even feel the need to get more information. The jury is still out on this one. I'll find out on Friday whether "no news" during the review was good or bad.
3. Logan at Harding for a week. No calls from him. Is that good news (he's having a great time and hopefully going to classes) or bad news (he hates harding, his roommate, his classes, and his parents for sending him there and is no longer speaking to us). I have actually spoken to him twice (for maybe 5 minutes total in the last week and only after leaving messages like call home because I am getting emails about your parking permit being returned as undeliverable). The first thing out of his mouth both times was "What do you want?" He is alive, and busy - so I guess in this case no news was good news.

That makes the tally even at one for truism, one for lie, and one for undecided.

growing pains

It's interesting to me - in a personal (not a cool, clinical) way -that growing hurts. Kids have growing pains as their bones grow and the rest of them tries to catch up - not imaginary pains but real, physical pain.
All through life we experience pain or at least discomfort with each growth process. Birth - you gotta go through pain to get out of mom and into the big world (and medical studies show that babies whose mothers experience labor (versus planned c-sections where the mother doesn't go through labor) do better. Whether you are learning a new skill (like riding a bike, Michelle?), starting a new relationship, or moving out on your own - pain is a part of the process.
The past week has been a growing one for me (and for my daughter - but you have to read her blog for that story). Michelle moved out of the country for a while and Logan left for college.

While I have been looking forward to Ron and I being a couple again - this week has been hard - make that painful. I miss them. I worry about them. I hurt to see them dealing with their own fears, anxieties, and challenges. But this week has also been a great week spiritually for me. I had gotten pretty lax in prayer life and my time in God's word. This week has brought a renewal there - and a reminder to me of the peace and comfort God has for me.
So while I have been experiencing pain - it truly is a growing pain. And while I want to protect my children from pain - I don't want them to lose out on what they can gain because of a fear of the pain -whether its the pain of seperation, or of failing at something, or just the fear of the unknown. Because while the pain is real - it doesn't last forever...and the end results can be surprizingly good.

Flown the coop

Well, once again Michelle has left the country. You would think by now I would be getting used to these departures and goodbyes. Even though I am excited for her and Ron and I have been looking forward to our empty nest - it's hard to say goodbye knowing it will be several months before we see each other again. The worst part isn't not seeing her - it's not being able to talk to her whenever. She is more than my daughter - she is my friend- and I will miss the talks.
At least this trip is motivating me to get a passport so I can go visit her. (And at least this time she is in a country I would ACTUALLY visit!)

Anyway, one down - one to go. Logan leaves next Wednesday for Harding!

"Empty" Nest? I don't think so.

Last week Ron and I had a little taste of our soon-to-be-empty nest. We found ourselves talking about what we might want to do with all the kids gone. Ron wants to do more weekend "road trips" like we used to do. He's rather impulsive and likes to just get in the car and head out. Once when we were first married we ended up way out there at the observatory in Texas (with no cash!) , found a little bed-and-breakfast which didn't take credit cards and convinced them to take a check so we could sleep somewhere besides the car (something I draw the line at). Road trips are usually one day and the only rule is - if you see anything that sounds like it might be interesting - we have to stop and check it out. Since the things Ron and I find "interesting" are often not of interest to the kids - this kind of trip hasn't happened in a while.

Then I threw him a curve. I said I'd like to try taking dance lessons together. Growing up as a good "church of christ-er" I never really learned to dance - since we weren't allowed to go to school dances. Needless to say, his initial response wasn't exactly eager. But I persevered. .. and I think I can actually get him to try. It should be good exercise, might be "romantic", and will definitely provide a lot of laughs (especially since neither of us is exactly "light-on-our-feet").
Then today - I saw an article in the newspaper about geo-caching (sp?). It might be a fun activity to add to our upcoming "road trips."

At least we know that there will be plenty to occupy us when the nest is empty.

Buffaloes!

I am now the proud owner of a water buffalo! Well, okay, I'm the owner of a 1/4 of a water buffalo...which I received as a birthday present. Of course, I didn't ACTUALLY get the water buffalo - just a picture of a one. My water buffalo has gone to live with a lovely foster family who will use him to till and fertilize their fields. But still, it is my 1/4 of a buffalo and since it was a birthday present I believe I should get to pick the quarter of the animal that I own. Therefore I am claiming the tail (but not what it is attached to!), the head (complete with horns), and the belly. I figure the foster family will want the legs and back (for tilling), and the buttocks (for, well, you know). They or one of the other 1/4 owners can claim the rest. I will even graciously allow them to have their own name for him. I will call him SaBu. All the veggie tale fans know why.

Anyway, I had a nice birthday.

NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL

As of last night - High School is officially over! Obviously I left it behind a great many years ago - but as of last night the baby of the family is also finished with it. And to make things even better - once August and the start of freshman orientation at Harding gets here - Ron and I will officially be empty nesters (assuming that Michelle gets her visas and leaves for Amsterdam as scheduled). Which means - we will be a "couple" again!

Maybe I'm a weird mom, but I am excited about all of this. I've been talking to and about some other parents I know who are all weepy and upset about their child leaving home. I love my kids (and step-kids, and grandkids, and foster kids) but children are supposed to grow up and leave home and parents are supposed to prepare them to do so. If I have done my job right they should want to become independent adults - making their own contributions to the world, finding their own sense of purpose, jobs, mates, etc. Of course I want to be a part of their lives and I want to know what they are doing, and I want to have time with them. And yes, I will probably tear up when Logan's car pulls away to head to college. But I actually like getting to see our relationships change. With adult children I get to be Mom still - but I also get to become friends too.

So to Logan and all the new graduates - Congratulations, and enjoy the next phase in your life. To the other parents of grads - Congratulations, you have done well - now let go.
To my husband - congrats! We did it!

Vision Screening

I don't have very good vision...literally. Without my glasses I walk into doorframes, counters, people,etc. I'm constantly adjusting my glasses - especially since I went to bi-focals. It's amazing how hard it can be to find the right spot to look through.

Anyway, I am also not very visually observant - I would be hard pressed to describe people I have known for years to anyone...even my own family. But today I had a chance to sit back and see my son the way others do. And I'm sorry to say that I've missed a lot. Yes, I knew he was smart, and talented, and so on...every mom knows that. But today I just watched him - as he spoke before about 200 people at his church about being an "ear" in the body of Christ. And I watched him as he played hig guitar and sang to the lord. And I listened to those who have gotten to know him at his church talk about how talented he is and how glad they are that he is there.

Sometimes I think I am too close ro my family - my son -to really see them. Too close to see beyond my expectations to who and what he is becoming. I'm used to being a "voice" in the body - singing, teaching, etc. Today I had to experience being an eye - and an ear. It was different - and not all together comfortable.

25 years and loving it!

Today is our 25th wedding anniversary. I can not believe that 25 years have gone by so fast. I am looking forward to what the next 25 hold for us. To Ron - who through the years has helped me to obtain everyting I've wished for. I hope everyone finds love like ours.

Get out of the Boat!

This weekend while looking for stuff to use in children's worship for the story of Jesus walking on water, I came across a book titled "If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat". I have found myself considering the thought that title conveys quite a bit over the last couple of days. I've also thought a lot about Peter in (and out) of the boat.
We all have dreams of the great things we will do with our lives. But somewhere between the dream and the action we allow fear to stop us and keep us within the confines of our comfort zones. Fear of failure, fear of what others will say, fear of not being as good at it as someone else, fear of the unknown, fear in general.
Like the other disciples in the boat - I can see Jesus - I want to go to him - but I can't overcome my fear enough to take that first step. Can you imagine what the other disciples felt (and said) as they saw Peter put his leg over the side of the boat? I can hear them so easily. "What are you doing? You'll kill yourself! Stop, you're going to tip us over! Stop making us look bad! Why do you always have to try so hard. Look at Peter, grandstanding again!"
It's so easy to be afraid. And like Peter - it's so easy to get distracted and let my fear get the better of me.
Sometimes my fears even result in my trying to stop someone else from stepping out of the boat. The first year Michelle went to Africa, I really struggled with it. I was so afraid of what MIGHT happen to her...and it was a daily struggle to get through. I had to keep reminding myself that I had promised God when she was very small that her life was his to use - not mine to direct.
Sometimes we just need to put "common sense" behind us, quit worrying about getting wet, and sling that leg over the side of the boat. Who knows - the water might feel pretty good.

Christianity is not for adults

Last night while checking in on the discussion topics at various facebook sites I came across one that immediately caught my attention. It was on the "you know you are a church of christ" group on facebook. A young woman was concerned about the appropriateness of her 18 year old cousin being baptized because he has autism.
Since I work with people with mental retardation and autism all the time (and the two are not the same thing) I had to look at her post and respond. Several others had made notes about "talking to the person to see if they really understood what baptism was all about", studying with the person, and so on. While these are not necessarily inappropriate actions - anyone might benefit from such studying and conversations - what struck me was the expectation that the person in question needed to know God and understand God in the same way as they (those without the disability) did. I wondered if any of us could look back at the time of our salvation and say that we really knew and understood what our action and God's intent was. I readily admit that my understanding 15 was different from my understanding at 9 when I was baptized. At fifteen I decided to be re-baptized (is there such a thing?) because I "didn't really know what I was doing before." Now in my forties I look back through my life and see many times when I understood more - and at times , less - than I did then. But I believe that I surrendered to Christ at age 9, and continue to do so today.
Jesus told us to become like little children because such is the kingdom. If that is the case, how can any one consider denying a young person the opportunity to surrender themselves to him? Whether they understand the ins and outs of christianity - I don't know - and I don't think it matters. I know that I have had a number of people with mental retardation minister to me, admonish me, and model Christ to me. I have prayed and waited for death with a woman who knew she was dying and was unafraid because she knew she was going to be with Jesus. She chose the songs for her own funeral - and they were joyful songs of praise to God. She knew that there was a God who was THE power, she knew Jesus was his son and that Jesus loved her, she knew she had "done bad things" and wanted forgiveness, and she had joy in her Lord. If that isn't christianity I don't know what is. It didn't matter that her IQ was that of an 8 -9 year old child. So lets all be children of God's - like her - and forget about being "adults" when it comes to faith.

old-style conservatism is not just an age thing

I've been reading several discussions on some C of C groups on facebook recently and I've been kind of surprized by some of the discussions. There is such diversity in the views expressed about everything from baptism - to the C of C is THE church - to vocal vs instrumental music. What has taken me somewhat aback is the number of young christians (in age, not years as a christian) that seem to hold the old hardline beliefs I grew up with. As I have gotten older I've moved away from the strict, narrow interpretations of "creed" that were the definition of the C of C. I remember having bible studies with baptist friends with the single purpose of converting them to the real church of christ. I remember the preaching against instrumental music and the visible works of the spirit (healing, speaking in tongues). I struggled with what defines a christian and christian worship. My husband and I encouraged our children to study for themselves and not just accept whatever they were taught as being "right." I came to believe that the view of christianity I grew up with was limited by people - not necessarily by God. I think I expected the struggles of the next generation - the teens and twenty-somethings of today - to have a different set of struggles. After reading some of the discussions this week it seems that we have not moved as far from my starting point as I had believed. Maybe it is a journey that every generation has to take...I don't know. I found it kind of discouraging though. If we are still engaged in separating ourselves from "those denominations" who believe in Jesus - how will we ever reach those who do not believe in Him at all?

Job = Work

Having a job means you are actually expected to do some work. Evidently this is a big secret and not something that everyone already knows. At least I have to think that based on the frequency with which someone gets hired who doesn't seem to know this.
Why would anyone think I would pay them for doing nothing or for not coming to work?
The only answers I have come with for that question is that a) they really believe that people should pay them just for showing up (at whatever time they choose to arrive), or b) they are so special that everyone owes them, or c) the company (or maybe just me) is too stupid to notice that they are not actually doing anything.
All I know is that today I let a "new employee" go - after only 3 weeks "on the job" during which time he had to repeatedly be asked to end phone calls during training, got up and walked out of training to "check on something", failed to get the required physical (which we pay for), was "unable to work" 2 days, and today came to work, clocked in , and THEN WENT SHOPPING! Didn't clock out, didn't tell anyone, didn't understand "what the big deal was." So just in case someone is reading this who isn't already in ono the big secret, let me say it again, "Having a job means that you are required to actually expend your own energy and work (i.e. complete tasks assigned to you by someone else)." Nuff said.

changing relationships

During worship today Charles talked about an old friend of his from High School. Someone who had been a close friend..but things had gradually changed, as they often do, until we completely lose touch with them...lose the relationship entirely. He went on to talk about how Jesus is the one friend we don't have to worry about losing. He never forgets us, never moves on to "bigger and better things". He is the constant. That permanance really hit me today.
Maybe because I am at a time in my life when so many relationships are changing. My relationship with my parents (the realization of their aging, the differences in how my brother,sister, and I worry about them), my relationship with my children - as they graduate from college and high school and leave home (in Michelle's case leave the country - again!) , my relationship with my husband as we prepare to celebrate our 25 th anniversary and return to the "2 of us" at home, even changes with relationships at work as those I have trained and supervised and mentored now begin to move into positions as my peer and I begin to take on new responsibilities that are different from theirs. Subtle changes in dynamics that occur in these relationshipsand have to be prepared for and considered.
Don't get me wrong - I don't find any of these changes bad or frightening - in many ways I've been looking forward to them.. I am just very aware of the way they are changing. But I admit - the idea of one relationship that will always be there, that can always be counted on, and is always accessible - is very reassuring right now.

Never Stop Learning

Finally, I figured out how to add links!
So maybe now I can aspire to bea tecno-moron istead of an idiot. (Actually that would be a backwards move based on the old mental retardation ratings..fortunately those are really politically incorrect and out of use.)

Correcting my perspective

This week I have had the truly horrible experience of a stomach virus - complete with three full days of vomiting, etc. So I go back to work yesterday and I'm still feeling wrung out but feeling virtuos because I came to work. Then today was one of those days that wakes you up and makes you see your own life and circumstances from a different perspective. The kind of eye-opener that makes me aware of how blessed God has made my life.
So anyway, I'm at work today and notice one of my employees seems to be in pain - holding her stomach, not saying much, and kind of a grimace on what I can see of her face. When I ask if she's getting sick (because of course, since I just had a virus - everyone else must be getting the same thing) she turns to face me and I see that she has a black eye and split lip. Suddenly her holding her stomach takes on a whole different meaning.
AS I talk with her I find she has been beaten up by her ex-husband, she's got LOTS of bruises, and she's scared he's going to get out of jail and come after her again. But here she is - at work - not carrying on about it, not expecting any one to help or anything to change, not even really seeing her life as different from others.
So now, I'm not feeling quite so smug about myself, and I'm more aware of how blessed my life really is, and I'm thanking God for reminding me of both these things while placing me where I can offer hope and comfort to someone else - as he has brought hope and comfort to me.

Still a techno idiot

I am still a blogging incompetent. It took me 20 minutes to remember my new google acct and password ...and I still can't get the stupid thing to let me log in a comment elsewhere. But I am determined...I shall overcome!

Voiceless

Well once agian I have lost my voice. I did manage to hold on to it for most of the day - which was good since I was teaching staff development classes for 4 hours. Now, however, I am COMPLETELY with out a speaking voice. I am not truly voiceless thougth. That is one of the nice things about the eworld. I can still send emails with the best of them...and since my daughter has been complainging about my poor blogging (ie she's even changed her name for my blog in her links list) I can even do some blogging.
Despite losing my voice - the first part of the day was pretty good. I actually like to teach, I love coming up with interactive ways to get people to learn the concepts and apply them, and I am really a pretty good teacher. Teaching is still on the top of my list of things I might do when I grow up.