communication - NOT!

As a social worker I have often explained to people that communication is not what you say but how others interpret what you say. It is so easy to forget that. After all, if I say something I know what I meant to say...so of course, you must know it to. And if we are "family" well - you know me so you have to understand me - and my intentions. Wouldn't it be nice if that were true?

Unfortunately over the last couple of weeks I have seen yet another example of how "Perception is everything." Two of my relatives - who both acknowledge the "facts" of who was doing what and who said what - (and yes, the who said and what was said match) - have radically different views of what was meant by the words that were said. One person is utterly convinced the words were meant in spite or as an embarassment. The other, didn't even realize the words had been seen as hurtful. In fact, that person thought the words would help a the other person avoid an uncomfortable situation.

For weeks hurt feelings have been nursed - anger has flared - and yet, there was no intent to harm or embarass. Others have been pulled in to the situation - and it now seems - there really wasn't a "situation" to begin with.

We so want to believe that misunderstandings are impossible between people who love each other - but the reality is - only God understands any of us perfectly. We must always be willing to step back and take another "listen" to what those around us are saying - or our own preconceptions/misperceptions can and will make us miss the real message.